During this difficult time, we can often feel helpless; unsure of what we are supposed to be feeling or doing. Occasionally, we can let ourselves go and perhaps forget that we matter or the loved ones that depend on us are hurting too, in their own way. It’s crucial to be aware of your own feelings and aware of those dependent upon us. Children will be searching for answers too, and may feel confused and lost like us. It is important that we are available to them through this difficult time. Even if we ourselves are unable to make sense of the loss. Speaking to a professional may allow you the space to sort through your own emotional turmoil, and enable you to help your dependents.
Check out the Bereavement Counselling support available to you locally.
Planning
Death is inevitable and we must be realistic. So preparing for every eventuality gives you the peace of mind, and enables you to reassure your dependents too. Whilst conversations about passing can be extremely difficult to have, it’s crucial that communication is honest and consistent. Having a conversation with your child about the loss of a significant person in their life may not be easy, but avoiding it will only make the grieving process harder. You can make a huge difference by just being there for someone going through a loss. Preparing yourself and your dependents of potential eventuality will ensure peace of mind for the whole family. Having a Will is obvious but often the last thing you think about following the death of a loved one but extremely important.
Take Your Time
Normalising and validating a child’s / children’s emotions and feelings are important during grief as well as your own emotions and feelings. Giving yourself and the children permission in expressing what they are feeling through creativity helps. Pursuing activities, engaging in regular conversations, keeping a memory jar or box (keeping sentimental or meaningful items; photos, piece of jewellery, poems/phrases, an object; shells, stamps) helps to share the grieving process. Talk to each other and catalogue your memories and thoughts, without over-thinking it! Check out some ideas here.
